Full Moon Vulnerability
✾ MAY FULL MOON energetic updates ✾
(From my innerverse) ~ take a deep breath feel into this with me.
Last 3 says I’ve been feeling lethargic AF!
Tired, bored, uninspired, lazy, sleeping 12+ hrs with afternoon naps, eating once a day, twice on a good day, smoking weed again, and started watching Tv to keep myself from going too deep into what feels like “depression”.
Oh the cycles! I’ve been here before.
The other day I took a 🍄journey and reflected on how “lonely” I actually been feeling. Not having a father figure has risen up again and allowed me to deeper appreciate my partner who holds that neutral supportive masculine space for me when I need it. The partner who I’ve been shifting in and out of my life over the last several months. I felt awful and cried in his lap, I felt so awful for portraying this strong independent woman who in reality just wants to collapse and fall into tears of confusion as to where the hell am I going.
All this is happening as my internal I Am presence is fully aware of it all. I’m watching myself open up to these feelings and with the help of plant medicine I’m releasing it through tears, presence and laughter caused by insane deep self reflections and deeper love that has started to open up within me.
I’ve realized that having It All, is nothing if you don’t share it with someone.
I should be ecstatic right now, first time i am finally having it all: an abundant career, my own home, amazing health, all the free time i want, Sacred relationships AND YET over the last few days all that felt as nothing because i realized I’m still missing something.
And here is where I fell into a trap; I’m missing a Purpose, which for some reason I associated with having a family and children, mind you I’m not a believer that we have just One purpose. I believe our purpose shifts and changed along with us and our life.
So I’m Like WTF! That settles in deep.
I’m almost 30, so perhaps I’m feeling the biological time clock kicking in or perhaps I’m craving to be in a deeply connected partnership (poly isn’t working out) and so all these emotions washed over me as I sat there trying to unpack what is true and what isn’t , i was pulled into a space of self-reflection where these insights were available to me.
So here I sit, in my comfy chair with sunset beaming into my living room, feeling like a new wave of life is about to open up for me.
See, I know these feelings, I’ve been here before.
The pendulum swings one way AND the other, so these low feelings are just cues for me to be energetically prepared to be pushed into the opposite direction now that i can steadily reflect on them and fully FEEL into what’s opening up here.
Full moon is tomorrow and you know I’ll be doing all my witchy things to get myself back into neutrality and emotional clarity.
It’s just Damn! To feel this much and see it all clearly is powerful AF!
I love inner work. I love coaching myself through life and I love navigating these waves of Life and knowing exactly how to take care of myself during such times. (I know I’m not alone in this)
In case you wonder, I do feel bad for doing nothing , for being lazy and sleeping so much. I do, but I then move out of that NOW and shift into giving myself the self-care my body clearly is asking for.
And then I drop into gratitude for having the time and space to care for myself in such deep ways.
And so here I Am. Thank you for allowing me to share my journey and thank you for feeling into my Universe. Happy Full Moon in Scorpio my lovelies, please take care yourself of yourselves: emotionally, physically, and spiritually.